Friend Cancels Plans Last Minute: Is Ignoring Rude? Miss Manners Weighs In

URGENT UPDATE: A recent inquiry to Miss Manners has sparked intense debate over the etiquette of responding to last-minute cancellations. The question arose when a friend unexpectedly canceled a meetup planned for six weeks, leaving the other party in a dilemma about how to respond.

According to the letter sent to Miss Manners, the cancellation came just one day before the scheduled meeting, with the friend admitting to not putting the appointment in her calendar. “Oh, I did not put this in my calendar and we are leaving in a couple of days to go overseas. Let’s reconnect in the fall. Apologies,” was the friend’s message, prompting the question: Is ignoring such a text considered rude?

Miss Manners acknowledges the frustration but offers a compelling alternative to silence. She advises responding with, “Oh, I am so disappointed. I was looking forward to seeing you, and had it in my calendar. But yes, let’s please get together once you are back.” This response not only conveys disappointment but also subtly reminds the friend of the importance of honoring commitments.

In a world where friendships can be tested by scheduling mishaps, Miss Manners emphasizes the necessity of communication. “Friends should generally be allowed one scheduling mishap every few years. It is when it happens every single time that we start reconsidering the friendship,” she explains.

Meanwhile, another reader posed a question about the proper way to eat large sushi rolls, often too big to consume in one bite. Miss Manners suggests a solution: “Dissect them.” While not typically condoned, she advises using chopsticks to separate the ingredients, eating them individually, or cutting them in half. This practical tip aims to prevent discomfort while dining.

The discourse continued with another inquiry regarding dating reciprocity, particularly for women who may not have the financial means to reciprocate dinner invitations. Miss Manners suggests alternatives such as coffee or tea, especially in colder months, promoting low-cost yet meaningful interactions.

These insights from Miss Manners not only address pressing social dilemmas but also reflect the evolving nature of friendships and dating etiquette in today’s fast-paced world. As readers grapple with similar situations, the advice serves as a reminder of the importance of open communication and understanding in maintaining relationships.

For further questions, readers are encouraged to visit Miss Manners’ website or submit inquiries via email.

Stay tuned as we continue to follow this engaging discussion on social etiquette, exploring how it impacts our daily interactions and relationships.