Sara Mearns Dances Past Hearing Loss and Depression to Triumph

Sara Mearns, the principal ballerina of “The Nutcracker,” has faced significant challenges, overcoming both hearing loss and depression to reclaim her passion for dance. Now at a pivotal moment in her career, Mearns reflects on her journey from the depths of struggle to newfound joy in her art.

Early Passion and Career Growth

Born in South Carolina, Mearns began dancing at the young age of three, though she initially resisted the idea. “I was kicking and screaming going into the studio,” she recalled. However, she soon discovered an insatiable love for dance, where the craft’s emotion, technique, and vulnerability captivated her. During her formative years, Mearns honed her skills at the School of American Ballet in New York City, attending summer sessions from ages 12 to 15. Despite not being invited to stay for the full year initially, her determination led her to plead her case for a spot, emphasizing that returning home would mean the end of her dance career.

Her perseverance paid off when the school offered her a place in the year-round program, along with a partial scholarship. Mearns eventually joined the New York City Ballet as an apprentice in 2003, earning a spot in the corps de ballet the following year. By 2006, only at age 18, she was performing solo in “Swan Lake,” a pivotal moment that changed the trajectory of her career. “It only takes that one chance to open up everything in your world,” she stated.

Confronting Hearing Loss and Mental Health Challenges

In 2008, Mearns was promoted to principal dancer, achieving the highest rank in a professional ballet company. Yet, her career took an unexpected turn in 2021 following a rehearsal in Brazil, where she experienced temporary hearing loss after exposure to loud drumming. Initially, her doctor dismissed her concerns, attributing them to low register hearing loss. Mearns later realized the full extent of her condition during the COVID-19 pandemic when mask mandates made it increasingly difficult to communicate.

“I couldn’t see anybody’s mouths and I couldn’t hear them because of the masks,” she recounted. The pandemic exacerbated her struggles, leading her to feel isolated from her peers and worried about missing critical opportunities in her prime years as a dancer. Mearns transformed her second bedroom into a dance studio, determined to continue her work, but the pressure became overwhelming. “It hit like a massive brick wall,” she explained, leading to a breakdown and a period of depression.

Recognizing the need for help, Mearns took a hiatus from dancing to address her mental health. She has since reflected on the pressures she faced, both self-imposed and inherent in the competitive nature of ballet. “We have to show all that,” she said, acknowledging the emotional weight dancers carry on stage.

A New Chapter with Hearing Aids

In 2024, Mearns finally received hearing aids, an experience that profoundly changed her life. “I was walking down Ninth Avenue back to the theater, and I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and started crying because I could hear the birds, I could hear a flagpole, I could hear the wind,” she shared. This newfound ability to hear the world around her marked a turning point in her life. “You don’t have to live in that darkness… it doesn’t have to exist anymore,” she realized.

When Mearns took the stage for the first time as the Sugar Plum Fairy with her hearing aids, she experienced a heightened awareness of her surroundings. “I could hear everybody’s footfalls. I could hear the jingling of somebody’s costume backstage,” she recalled, expressing her amazement at finally experiencing the fullness of sound after a decade of struggle.

Now, having completed her second season performing in “The Nutcracker,” Mearns describes a profound transformation. “I feel myself in the studio being even more open, not so closed off, not self-conscious,” she said. With her hearing aids, she feels empowered, almost as if she possesses a “superpower.” Mearns has emerged from her challenges not just as a dancer, but as a more complete artist, ready to embrace her future with open arms.